#bc she didn’t wanna bother her boss with the specifics when she was my boss and we had the work covered a

[homerjacksons]

Y’know what still makes me angry 7 years later

That time I got an official written warning at work with a list of all these things I’d supposedly done/been doing that no one had ever brought up as an issue with me prior to this written warning

All because I left work 10 minutes early one day

After having done an average of 5 hrs of unpaid over time a week the entire year I’d been working in that role

And despite the fact that I’d come in 30 mins early that morning

[filmbyjy]

COLLIE DUTY

SYNOPSIS > being the new CEO to the ‘Sim Corp’ was hard and stressful. jake didn’t have much time to spend with layla and so he decides to get a dogsitter, you. though, you were originally already his secretary. how will dog sitting bring you two closer?

FOUR - she’s a cute one [written + pictures]

MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

WARNINGS: none :)

ah yes, who knew you’d spend the afternoon of your work day walking down to jake’s expensive ass mansion. no seriously, jake was loaded with money.

oh sorry, I meant Mr.Sim was loaded with money. as you can tell, he is your boss and CEO of the company. you never bothered to ever address him by Mr.Sim though. why? simply because the both of you are the same age. it truly was a funny story on how you landed this job. being his secretary.

-

you remember the day where you bumped into him and spilled your coffee onto his shirt. god, you remember scrambling to help him and wipe off the stain off his like $1000 coat. actually, you were already late to like an interview (at his company but you didn’t know he was the CEO)

“it’s alright. you don’t have to apologise.” the man before you says.

“no no, i’m sorry. I spilt coffee on you and your coat. it looks expensive. though I probably can’t afford to buy you a new one, maybe I could pay for dry-cleaning?”

He laughs. No seriously, he laughs at you. He found you sort of cute to think that you could pay for the dry cleaning of his expensive coat. It was a one of a kind coat and there was only one in the world. Specifically tailored for him but you didn’t know and he wasn’t a rich snobby guy.

“It’s really okay. It’s just a little coffee and you were a little clumsy. This happens the most of us. Just be careful next time, alright?”

“But I need to repay you in some way-” he hands you a business card.

“If you feel really bad then maybe you could eventually repay me by getting coffee together.”

You bowed a couple of times to apologise to him and then went straight to the interview. The same one he would attend since he so happens to be looking for a secretary at the time. This stunned the both of you a little when you noticed each other in the room. Jake was even quicker to also announced you would be his new secretary and that caused jay and another staff to look at him in shock.

“What? Is it wrong to want her to be my secretary?” Jake tilts his head.

“Mr.Sim, we barely started the interview.-”

“And? She definitely looks qualified. Maybe a little clumsy but she definitely can get it after a couple of times.”

“Sir-” jay stops the other staff.

“Alright then Mr.Sim, if you wanna do it. Go ahead.”

The memories…and now here you are. watching Layla running around with a tennis ball in her mouth. she places it on the ground in front of you and nudges you to throw it. you were surprised she warmed up to you instantly because you heard it took a while for jay to even convince her to eat the food he placed on her bowl.

you threw the ball and Layla runs over to grab it. she barks and happily catches it. she then runs over to where you were and flopped in front of you. she rolls over so her belly was exposed. you gave her a good belly rub and she enjoys it. maybe this wasn’t so bad, layla was a good dog so she definitely would be obedient with you. now, all you had to focus on was getting some actual work done.

you were still jake’s secretary after all. hence, you took out jake’s iPad and went to fix up his schedule for tomorrow. you scanned through and added everything important, called to make sure the clients would actually be present in the next week’s meeting. you just continued working. then, a message pops up.

it was jake, asking if he could see a picture of layla. you happily snapped a picture. however, you quickly realised what you had just sent after texting him that picture was just creating more work for yourself and now you were screwed.

a/n: rip you. I am also hoping that the pictures and texts don’t mess up bc the last time I did it, I could not edit the chapter and it wouldn’t save😵‍💫

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[hangovercurse]

Crash Into Me

You’d been MGK’s assistant for years, but you never thought you had a chance at anything more with him until one stoplight changes everything.

Request: “ok im so sorry if this is 2 specific but ive had this idea for ages abt pining!colson x an insecure/clueless!reader who has been his assistant forever. she gets into a car accident and calls him hours later to tell him that a temp will be taking her place for a few weeks (bc of injuries) and he's like ?? why?? she explains nonchalantly, then kells kinda freaks out and shows up at the hospital all worried”

Colson Baker X Reader

Warnings: Cursing, car accident (descriptive)

A/N: This was cute 😊

Word Count: 3185

“Alright Kells, I’m out for the night. I’ll email those tracks to the board when I get home and I’ll let you know if I get any updates for tomorrow’s press.” You told the blond man who was sitting on the couch as you put your laptop into your bag. You tried not to yawn as you heaved it over your shoulder, “anything else?”

You glanced at the kitchen clock that read 2 am and let out a small sigh. You were used to late nights given your job as assistant to a rockstar, but most nights you were able to leave before 8 pm. Tonight you and Colson had gotten really invested in the tracks you were editing and lost track of time.

“Y/N,” he turned to look at you with puppy dog eyes. He wanted something that you really weren’t gonna want to give him. “Could you come over early tomorrow to help me pick out what to wear for the Vanity Fair interview?”

You chuckled, “you know they have their own wardrobe department?”

He sighed, “yeah but you know me so much better than all those stylists. I trust your opinion more.”

You rolled your eyes as he tilted his head, begging you. “Fine, but I’m buying us coffee with your credit card.”

He broke out into a smile, “thank you, love you!” He called as you walked towards his front door.

“Whatever, I’ll see you tomorrow.” You told him, taking your car keys into your hands, and stepping out into the LA night. There was a soft breeze that shook the trees slightly, making you smile. It felt nice outside for the first time in a while.

Because of this, you decided to drive home with your windows rolled down, letting the wind flow through your hair. The roads were pretty barren by LA standards, so traffic was pretty much non-existent. You were sitting at a red light, your fingers tapping against your steering wheel as one of Colson’s songs played through your speakers softly.

You reached to turn up the volume as the light turned green. You pressed the gas, your car moving forward into the intersection. Suddenly you heard a loud squeal of brakes, looking over to your passenger window to the sight of two headlights barreling towards you. You tried to speed up to get out of the way, but it was too late.

The truck rammed straight into the side of your small car, pushing your vehicle over into the car next to you. You put your left arm up to shield you from any flying debris, but it was futile. The infrastructure of your car fell apart at the force, the dashboard collapsing onto your right leg. Luckily, your left leg managed to avoid the destruction.

You could barely feel the force of the whiplash due to the pain in your abdomen at the deployment of the airbag. Glass from the car next to you fell into your car through your open window, cutting into your skin.

And then all of a sudden, everything stopped. The truck that had hit you had stopped moving, allowing you to fully assess the damage. Your car was totaled for sure, and your leg was definitely crushed. You cried out in pain, breathing heavy and trying to see straight. You could hear the sound of sirens in the distance, giving you some sense of relief.

When the paramedics got to the scene, you were the last passenger to be taken out of the crash due to your car being in the center. A firefighter had to break the glass of your windshield, which was already cracked, in order to pull you out. When you told him your leg was stuck under the dashboard, he sent a team of men to lift it from your foot and another to pull you out of the wreckage.

They were all amazed you were still conscious but got very worried when you told them you couldn’t feel the pain in your leg. You rode in an ambulance to the hospital, the EMTs helping pick the glass from your skin and assessing your injuries. You made jokes with them to calm yourself down, something that you did with Colson and Rook whenever they got into accidents while you were out with them.

You thought about giving them Colson’s name when they asked about your emergency contact but decided against it. You didn’t want to worry him until absolutely necessary. You figured you’d see what the doctor had to say and if you wouldn’t be able to come back to work, then you would tell him.

Unfortunately, that’s exactly what the doctor said. In fact, you wouldn’t be able to leave the hospital for at least a week due to your shattered leg, bruised abdomen, and concussion.

The leg would require at least 2 if not more surgeries to repair and you would be on close watch for development of a more serious brain injury. After that you most likely wouldn’t be able to be back on your feet for another 8 to 12 weeks, which was kind of a requirement for your job.

It was almost 5am, so you weren’t necessarily thinking straight when you called Colson from your cracked phone. He answered, his voice conveying how tired he was. “Y/N? Everything okay?”

“Hey Kells, I’m not gonna be able to come in early tomorrow, or at all. I’m gonna start looking for a temporary replacement tomorrow if I’m feeling up to it. Oh! And I couldn’t send those tracks to the board, sorry.” You told him, only half registering the words you were saying.

The confusion was evident in his voice, “what? Why do you need to find a replacement?”

You realized you had forgotten to tell him what happened. “Oh, yeah! It’s kind of funny.” You started, chuckling but then realizing that laughing made your stomach hurt even more. “And by funny, I mean not funny at all. I got into a car accident. Some dude ran into my car in an intersection and now I’m in the hospital.”  

“Which hospital?” Colson asked, suddenly much more awake.

“Hollywood Presbyterian.” You told him, “why?”

He sounded like he was rushing around, which he was. “I’m coming to see you.”

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, “why? I’m fine, you don’t need to do that. You have a big interview tomorrow, you should sleep.”

Colson sighed, “fuck the interview, I’ll be there in a few.”

“Colson you don’t-“ You started, but he hung up before you could tell him not to come.

Why was he rushing to see you in the hospital? Sure, you were friends, but he had much more important things to worry about right now. And besides, you were more casual work friends. He wouldn’t even know you existed if you didn’t work for him. Sure, you had a huge crush on him, but he was your boss, you were just someone he asked to do things he didn’t want to do.

 20 minutes later Colson ran into the hospital room, stopping when he saw you in the bed. Your face was red from chemical burn and a few cuts of glass. Your right leg was propped up with basic bandaging around it. His heart broke at the thought of how much pain you had probably been in.

“How are you feeling?” He asked softly, moving to sit in the chair on your left side.

You shrugged, “I’ve been better.”

“Why didn’t you call me sooner?” He asked, eyes full of pity.

“I didn’t want to bother you unless it was serious. Figured I’d find out if I would have to miss work before telling you.” You said, squeezing your eyes shut as a headache washed over you.

Colson’s mouth gaped open, “you didn’t want to bother me? You got in a car crash and you weren’t gonna call me unless you would have to miss work?”

You shrugged again, “yeah. If my laptop wasn’t completely crushed in the accident I would’ve just found and sent a temp in tomorrow, but obviously that’s impossible.”

“Y/N you’re kidding me, right?” He asked, exasperated. You furrowed your eyebrows in response, causing a sigh to fall from his lips. “Y/N I don’t give a shit about a temp; I want to make sure you’re okay.”

“Oh, I’m fine. A little shaken and these headaches are killer, but they gave me a lot of pain medication so, I’m fine.” You smiled at him, your thoughts racing as you tried to figure out why he cared so much about how you were feeling.

He nodded, hand reaching out and landing on top of yours gently. “So, do they have to do surgery? What all did the doctors say?” He asked, worry in his eyes.

You nodded, “yeah, at least 2 surgeries. One around 11 am and then depending on how that one goes they’ll schedule the next. And they have to watch me to make sure my concussion doesn’t get worse.”

He pulled out his phone, typing away. “What are you doing?” You asked, suddenly feeling very tired.

“I just emailed the PR liaison for Vanity Fair and told them I wouldn’t be able to make it to the interview.” He responded.

“Why did you do that?” You asked through a yawn.

He looked at you like the answer was the most obvious thing in the world, “because I have to be with you right now.”

You were very confused as to why he thought he had to be here. “Colson, I’ll be fine. You should go to the interview. You don’t have to stay here.”

“I do have to be here. I want to be here.” He said, sternly.

“Why?” You asked, trying to keep your eyes open.

“Because I wanna make sure you’re okay.”

“I’ll just call you after the surgery, it’s no big deal.” You responded lazily.

He shook his head, “I want to stay here with you, Y/N. Okay? I care about you.”

You were too tired to process what he was saying at this point, so you just let out a hum. “I need to make sure you’re okay. I need to see you being okay. When you called me, I swear I was gonna have a heart attack if I didn’t see you.” He continued.

You were barely awake at this point, letting out a simple, “I’m okay” before slipping into unconsciousness.

 Suddenly you were back in your car, “Bloody Valentine” playing from your speakers. The sky was dark green, almost like a painting. In front of you, the red light turned green. Like clockwork, you pressed the gas, moving into the intersection. Suddenly, the lights disappeared, and you heard the familiar chilling sound of breaks squealing. You looked over and saw those headlights coming towards you, getting closer and closer, brighter, and brighter.

You screamed at the sight, the familiar paralyzing fear coursing through your body again. “Y/N!” Your name played through the radio. That’s not in the song, you thought. “Y/N!” Colson’s voice rang out again before the truck made contact with your car.

You woke up in a cold sweat to Colson standing over you, hands shaking your shoulders lightly. “Y/N.” He said, relieved when your eyes began to open.

Your entire body was shaking like a poodle and your arms subconsciously reached for Colson, hanging onto his shirt for dear life. “It was just a dream.” He whispered as your eyes darted around the room. “You’re okay.” He reassured you.

“I’m sorry.” You muttered, hands leaving the fabric and moving to cover up your face. “I’m sorry.”

Colson sat on the bed next to you, legs hanging off the side as he stroked your face gently. “It’s okay, baby.” He turned to the nurse who opened the door, a worried expression on her face. He shook his head at her, “sorry, she just had a nightmare. She’s okay.” The nurse nodded but stayed in the room anyways, checking your vitals.

“I’m sorry.” You mumbled again, the words seeming to be the only thing you could say.

Colson shook his head, “stop saying that, it’s okay.” You pouted at him, trying to scoot over so he would lay down next to you, but it was way too painful. “What are you doin?” He asked, a smile on his face.

You sighed, “wanted you to sit next to me but I can’t move because of this stupid leg.” You motioned to the leg in question.

Colson chuckled, “I can sit next to you in the chair.”

“That didn’t work last time.” You whined.

He looked at you with an expression that was both amused and confused. You were definitely still high on pain medication. “What didn’t work.”

“It didn’t stop the nightmare.” You frowned, hand reaching for his. He chuckled, standing up fully and looking at the nurse.

She flashed him an amused smile, “If you want, we can try to move her. I don’t know how much we can do without hurting her ribs, though.”

Colson nodded with a gracious smile, “hear that? We can’t move you because of your ribs.”

You glared at him, “I may be very high right now, but I’m not that high.” You said, making him giggle. “She said you could try.”

Colson let out an exasperated sigh, one arm going under your back and the other under your left leg. “Is this what it’s like taking care of me all the time?” He asked and you nodded your head firmly.

“Yep. Except I am much smaller than you, so you have less work to do with me.” You smiled as he lifted you off the bed, which quickly turned into a grimace. “Ow!” You yelped and Colson quickly set you down, slightly closer to the right side of the bed.

“Fuck, sorry princess. Are you okay?” He asked, voice soft.

You nodded, sucking in your bottom lip to block the whimpers of pain that threatened to escape your mouth. “You probably don’t remember, but one time you were so crossed that you called me to pick you up from a party. But you couldn’t make it out of the car, so I had to carry you into your house. And then you demanded to sleep in your own room, so you made me drag you up the stairs instead of passing out on the couch like normal.”

Colson let out a breathy chuckle, glad you weren’t hurt too much. He carefully sat onto the cot next to you, pulling up his right leg to sit on the bed. His arm wrapped around your shoulders and pulled you into him slightly. You shifted so that you were comfortable, left hand finding his own left hand and holding it. He brought his left leg up onto the bed so he was fully laying with you.

Your head rest on his chest, a soft smile on your face as his thumb rubbed circles on your hand. The nurse left, satisfied that you wouldn’t hurt yourself further. Colson pressed a small kiss to the top of your head, causing your eyebrows to furrow.

“What time is it?” You asked him, to which he responded by pulling out his phone and showing you the lock screen. 8:47am. You nodded, a frown on your face, “did you get any sleep?” You asked him softly.

“I’m fine, I was asleep for a few hours before you called me.”

You sighed, feeling guilty. “You should go home and get some sleep.”

You felt him shake his head from behind you, “I’m staying right here.”

Despite wanting to force him to go home, you couldn’t help the happiness you felt at his stubbornness to stay with you. “You know you don’t need to be here. I won’t be offended if you leave.”

He chuckled, “stop trying to get me to leave. I’m here. On my own accord, okay? I’m gonna take care of you.”

You paused, thinking about the word floating around your head. “Why?” you whispered.

Colson’s face scrunched in confusion, “what do you mean “why”? Because you’re my friend and I care about you.”

“I mean, yeah. But I’m not like a “drop everything” kind of friend, I’m just your assistant.” You muttered.

Colson made an “are-you-serious?” face and let out a snort. “Seriously? You are so much more than you give yourself credit for. You mean the world to me, of course I’d drop everything for you.”

You couldn’t think of a response, his words making your heart race. “oh.” Was the best you could come up with.

“Y/N, seriously, you think way too low of yourself. You’re amazing.” He said, nose burying into your hair.

You shrugged, “you only say that because I take care of you when you’re drunk and help you do all the things you don’t want to do.”

Colson’s expression softened, a frown forming on his face. “I’m saying that because I think the world of you. You’re the kindest, funniest, coolest person I know. I meant it, when you told me you were in the hospital, my heart almost stopped. I felt sick to my stomach just thinking about you being hurt.” He paused, taking a deep breath before continuing, “I wish you could see how much you mean to me.” He mumbled.

You were quiet for a little while, processing what he had said. “You’re only saying that because I’m in the hospital.” You muttered, a frown on your face. You were trying to keep your hopes low, knowing once you were out of here, he would regret saying any of this.

“Y/N, are you being serious right now? I’m saying this because I’ve been fucking in love with you for the past year and a half.” He said and you could feel your breath catch in your throat. “I can’t believe you don’t see it.”

You bit your lip, turning to look up to him. “I just- I didn’t want- you wouldn’t.” You stumbled over your words, taking a deep breath, and starting again. “I didn’t want to read too much into it or get my hopes up. I figured you’d never be into someone like me so I just told myself you were being nice. I thought you only treated me well because I worked for you.” You mumbled.

He frowned, holding you tighter to him, “I am so, so into you. You are the only woman in my life who has ever stuck by me through my worst shit. Like even when I was a total jackass you stayed with me. How could I not fall in love with you?”

You bit your lip, tears threatening to spill at his sweet sentiment. You’d never had anyone say something that kind about you. You’d always assumed people only kept you around because you did stuff for them, but here was the man you were in love with telling you that he cared about you for you.

“I love you too.” You whispered, leaning your head further into his chest.

[fuck-customers]

Fuck managers! I scheduled a surgery for mid june in mid april, plenty of time in advance. Also not for anything serious, but definitely something thats been bugging me for almost the entire year so far and has already caused me to miss work, so my supervisors at least vaguely know about it. Also something that will definitely take at least a week or two of recovery so I had to take some time off for it. Our time off request system is online and tells us what days are blackout days and can’t be requested off. Usually that’s reserved for holidays. The days I scheduled said nothing and didn’t seem to be blacked out which was why I picked those time in the first place. You can see where this is going

Fast forward about a week, I’m at work and one of my supervisors asks me to look at the schedule real quick, and she goes “so I denied the vacation days you took in June for father’s day weekend and the blackout days around it, but the rest are good to go :)” Now my managers are actually pretty understanding, and again I had completely forgotten that I had scheduled it over fathers day which was definitely on me, but again there was nothing indicating it on the request system either so I figured they would be fine! I work in a bakery so holidays do tend to be busy but...not fathers day. Most people get their dads steak and shit like that, not fruity colorful cakes (although they definitely should). I’ve worked there for nearly 5 years and fathers day has NEVER been especially notable in terms of sales.

So assuming my boss would be cool and help me work something out if I told her, I was like “oh, I actually scheduled surgery for that time.” Again, usually they’re cool and understanding and actually work around you very well.

Well not today! She was kinda just like “yeah?” and stared at me blankly. So kind of taken aback I was like “uh...I’ll see when I can...reschedule it for I guess?” To which she was like “sounds good!”

Now I had picked the days I did specifically because I’m going on a work trip in mid may and won’t be back until the 31st. Fathers day is the 20th of June and I scheduled surgery for the 11th. So I asked her “I won’t be back from the work trip until May 31st and the only other available surgery date was June 4th...instead of my current date y’all think you would be okay with me just...being gone for a whole month? Or back for a couple days between the 31st and 4th just to leave again?” And keep in mind, literally EVERY time I’ve taken time off in the last year, they’ve asked me to either just not do it or have texted or called me trying to beg me to come in. Every. Time. I know this won’t be any different, and I don’t wanna toot my own horn but I do good work and they STRUGGLE when I’m not there which is exactly why I asked this. But of course she was just like “no yeah that’s fine, hell, just take the whole month off!”

It kind of just ended there but the more I thought about it the more pissed I got. Like the schedule is already out until mid may and I’m not ?? prepared for surgery like right now even if that was an option. Then the work trip, and then doing the surgery on the 4th might not even be enough recovery time before the fathers day blackout starts! I’m not gonna be in pain and risk my recovery for that shit! Not to mention doing it after is out of the question since 4th of July follows so soon after and that’s DEFINITELY a much busier holiday for us. I don’t want to keep waiting to fix this problem and the date I picked really is the best option without pushing it out until almost AUGUST when it’s been bothering me since JANUARY. And I do feel bad for scheduling it over a holiday but again I got no indication that it was blacked out! It’s hard enough already to schedule anything longer than 2 weeks without accidentally doing it over a holiday, at least this holiday isn’t all that busy!

Not to mention the fact that that kind of behavior is on brand for her. She acts super nice and like I said is actually really cool and understanding and is totally cool with working with you with this kind of stuff...unless she’s in a bad mood. She’s very much the type to take shit out on us and sometimes she’s super weird and stubborn and vindictive and it’s just dependent on her mood and how shitty she feels like being to you that day. And since she’s a supervisor she just gets away with it. Earlier that day even my bf had texted me like “hey, (supervisor) is in a bad mood jsyk” and when I come in what does she do? Use her authority to be weird to her employees! She’s always been like that and I have stories on stories about her, this just really rubbed me the wrong way.

Anyways this story does actually have a happy ending! I continued my day and had just resolved to having to reschedule surgery and figured I would exact revenge by leaving for my trip and just staying away as long as I possibly could, when my team lead comes RUNNING up to me and goes “oh my god, do NOT reschedule your surgery jfc” and I was like “oh but I can if y’all really need me to?” (I’m too nice) to which she goes “NO!! That’s crazy!!! Thank you for even CONSIDERING doing something like that but no absolutely not. You’re not fucking around at home doing nothing for 2 weeks it’s SURGERY.” And ended the conversation by walking away so that was that lol. I’m very glad one of them actually has some sense.

Oh, and other supervisor came up and did this thing she likes to do when she’s wrong where she doesn’t apologize but DOES find a way to just brush off her wrongdoing. This time she comes up to me later in the day and was like “haha yeah I told (team lead) that you told me the time off request that I denied was actually for surgery and she stopped what she was doing, shook her head, and IMMEDIATELY came up to talk to you lol” like yeah no shit dude?? Oh the team lead was disappointed that you’re being a bitch and had to clean up your mess?? And is also actually reasonable and didn’t expect me to literally cancel getting my body cut open to come work a stupid holiday that’s not even busy? Real shocker lmfao

TLDR boss tried to make me reschedule a much needed surgery bc I scheduled it on blackout days that no one told me were blackout, other boss comes thru and is like “wtf thats fucking crazy please don’t do that jfc”

[riviae]

Regis and/or Dettlaff for the character headcanon meme (ya know, if a hundred others haven't already asked lol)

character meme (accepting!): under a read more due to length 

Regis: 

favorite thing about them:

besides his obvious kind heart & unflinching loyalty, i love how passionate he is about things!! dude’s been alive for 400+ yrs & he still wants to travel, to make friends, to learn, to teach, to heal, to share his interests & knowledge. he loves life–loves humanity (cdpr can miss me w/ his referencing humans as mosquitoes metaphor nonsense)–& is my favorite example of a good redemption story/character. 

least favorite thing about them: 

he can be… rather pretentious at times. but to his credit, he never really belittles or alienates anyone in the hansa–it’s more like he has a lot of ‘high-brow’ interests for the time/setting (not counting distilling, of course) & in sharing/explaining them, he goes a bit over the top. i don’t think it’s on purpose, but case in point… not everything has to be a lecture, ya know? 

favorite line: 

kinda cheating on this, but my favorite scene of anything ever is this one from lady of the lake: 

“Well,” sighed Regis. “Have it your way. I’ll have to avoid mirrors and dogs, and will have to beware of sorcerers and telepaths… And if I’m still exposed, I’m counting on you.”“You can count on me,” Geralt said seriously. “I’m not in the habit of leaving a friend in need.”The vampire smiled and because they were alone, he did not hide his fangs. “Friend?”

now specifically from b&w, i like this line from Regis’ journal: People justify bad deeds by good intentions. I’m not sure if there is greater idiocy

brOTP: 

geralt/regis (which you’ll also see in the otp section), regis/yen (goth-nerd solidarity & also they both love geralt so jot that down), & regis/angouleme (he’s a wonderful uncle figure to angouleme)

also if regis ever got to meet vesemir i’m 100% sure they’d have gotten along swimminglg

OTP: 

geralt/regis–it’s my lifeblood babey

nOTP: 

romance-wise, any regis/hansa member that isn’t geralt is just not my cup of tea as well as regis/dett****

random headcanon

after his second regeneration, he became wearier around unknown sorcerers/sorceresses/magic users (w/ the exception of yen). at one point, geralt had decided to light a candle near regis using igni w/o really thinking abt it & noticed that regis had visibly flinched. geralt apologized immediately & now lets regis know when he’s abt to light something using magic (’normal’ fires, those not started by magic, don’t bother him. so it’s less of an aversion to fire & more of an aversion to fire made thru magic).

unpopular opinion: 

i don’t really like his sideburns or hairline–not bc i think the design is bad per se (i think it solidified his intro in b&w as a more scholarly character), but bc i think it ages him much more than necessary. when the other 2 higher vampires (dettlaff, orianna, hell–even the unseen elder), look much younger, then it just seems unusual imo. a middle-aged tax collector w/ a crooked nose is how sapkowski describes him & idk, i think cdpr just wanted to give regis a more stereotypical scholarly look instead of using descriptions from the books. 

song i associate with them:

when i’m in an angst™ mood, this song is what makes me think of regis (& higher vampires in the witcher series in general). it’s called far from home (the raven) by sam tinnesz 

favorite picture of them (i’m too lazy to do this but assume every picture of regis is my fave)

Dettlaff: 

favorite thing about them

his hobbies! woodworking & building toys for kids is nice™; cdpr should’ve at least given us a tiny scene of him tinkering on stuff. presumably he has a caring nature given that he nursed regis back to health but once again, cdpr couldn’t be bothered to flesh out the interesting aspects of his character & instead gave us an albeit cool but ultimately unnecessary boss battle :/ 

least favorite thing about them

oof, his lack of patience & propensity towards violence. well, perhaps propensity is the wrong word; i mean that in a character who is powerful/deadly (in which even a brief lapse in judgement could mean death for another), a hair trigger temper is... not going to endear me to them. for instance, i don’t think that dettlaff went to tesham mutna with the intent of killing syanna--i don’t think he knew himself what he would do upon seeing her. BUT, he still did it--& i’m sorry but killing an unarmed/defenseless (presumably unarmed, but even if she were armed it wouldn’t change the fact that she was defenseless against him & dettlaff knew that) woman in a fit of rage (who yes, wronged dettlaff greatly) speaks of a deeper problem relating to his inability to process his emotions. 

i originally thought that cdpr was going to do some cool parallels between dettlaff and geralt bc both have issues w/ emotion but in different ways (i.e., dettlaff has difficulty controlling his while geralt has trouble expressing them), but they shared maybe a handful of sentences w/ each other before the conclusion of the dlc so yeah D: 

favorite line: 

“If you acknowledge any gods... start praying, now.” 

brOTP: 

regis/dettlaff is pretty much it/the only relationship i find interesting in b&w for dett anyway 

OTP: 

dettlaff/character development 

nOTP: 

mentioned in regis’ list above, but i also am not a fan of geralt/dett

random headcanon: 

his “pack” up until syanna consisted almost entirely of orphaned lower vampires. whether due to their family dying or abandoning them, dett’s reserved & calming demeanor makes it easier for LVs to trust him. he’s nursed plenty of injured LVs back to health & when he passed thru the remnants of stygga castle, he did so bc he originally thought that he was following the trail of an injured LV (having caught regis’ scent). it was only when he got closer that he recognized the ‘shapeless smear’ was regis--someone he hadn’t seen in centuries--& chose to help him heal despite how taxing it would be. 

unpopular opinion

i don’t understand his popularity as a character or how his actions can be defended. his character design is great (i still wanna to buy his moth brooch tbh), he was voice acted very well, & there are hints of an interesting backstory esp in relation to why he chose to help regis regenerate, but that’s not the focus of the dlc. 

if i have to rely on regis to explain why dettlaff is a good person/deserves redemption/etc., then that’s lazy writing. i love regis to death, but he, like anna henrietta, was blind to/didn’t want to see his loved one’s faults/misdeeds. u can’t make an unbiased character judgement on someone you’re close to and indebted to imo. 

granted, regis himself is an example of dett’s charity since he is alive & well (& also is stressed af bc of dettlaff), but does one good deed wash away all the death he later commits in the attack on beauclair? motivation or not, murder is murder, plain & simple. i can forgive but not condone regis’ actions in his youth bc, arguably, regis was already punished severely for it & chose to change/become a better person. cdpr didn’t give us an option to allow dett to be punished for his crimes (in something other than death--which i don’t think he nor syanna deserve) or let us know if he eventually grows to be a better person w/ the help of regis & so i can only care for him in the respect that i mourn the character he (& syanna) could’ve been. 

in summary: everything i dislike abt dettlaff is entirely due to a lack of care when it came to fleshing out his character. we only see him committing acts of violence/murder, never healing or helping. we see the fallout of his anger, see that he feels grief & even remorse (like in de la croix’s death), but it doesn’t excuse the act itself. ppl are more than welcome to like or love morally dark/dubious characters, but i have an issue when a morally dubious character is painted as good or good but misunderstood. 

song i associate with them

the song inferno by sir sly gives me real dettlaff vibes: I think you clipped my wings to save me from the sunForgot my hands and knees, I had to learn a lessonOh fearless teacher how'd I ever lose my sightWhy'd I ever try to fight against your path?Somewhere at half my life, I wandered in the woodsCan't find a single right, I swear nothing is goodI'm blinded now and darkness shrouds my every sightWhy'd I ever try to fight for my own path?

favorite picture of them: 

once again, too lazy to find one, but his final form in the boss battle was cool even if it kinda went against sapkowski’s lore.

[mandareeboo]

Unfinished Work #24: “Opposite Axes”

Wellll this is less ‘unfinished’ as it is ‘I’mma have to rework the SHIT out of this bc of the special and I can’t NOT put my beautiful Sunstone and co in there somewhere’ so I’mma probably scrap this part of my third in line of the Steven and Fam Fusion Musical Show and redo from step one.

Title: Opposite Axes

"Absolutely not. There's growth and then there's insanity."

"Oh, let's give it a chance, Yellow," Blue pleaded, one hand cupped over her mouth thoughtfully. "Steven's already brought us so many interesting proposals. What's wrong with this one?"

"Interesting?" Yellow repeated dubiously. "Era 3 has been a massive failure so far. Production has gone down by over forty percent!"

"Yes, but they're so much happier."

"They won't be happier when we have no more planet to live on!"

Steven's ears were ringing as the Diamonds' voices began to lift. He puckered his lips and whistled. "Look, I know I'm no good at stats like Pearl is- who, by the way, really wanted to do this presentation, and the fact that you won't even let her in the room is extremely rude-"

"Do you know how undignified it'd be if we-"

"But," he plowed over her. "This will expand production enough to make up for lost time. Pearls are far less destructive to create, and they can be beneficial in so many fields! Just imagine how many happy faces with pointy noses we could make!"

Yellow sighed and pinched the junction of her nose. "It concerns me that we've come to a point where this is making sense," she said wearily. "Listen, Steven. Having an Era 3 Pearl being made without typical refineries and allowed to run wild can cause a lot of trouble for all of us. Especially compared to the older models. We could face a full-on revolution."

"It'd kind of be one we'd deserve, don't you think?"

"Perhaps. But you know as well as I do that there are many Era 1 and 2 Gems who would still leap at the chance to be shattered to protect us. We'd be causing dustshed all across Homeworld."

"I wonder," Blue said, "What an unrefined Pearl would look like?"

"It doesn't matter what they look like," Steven stressed. "What matters is that this is the safest option- for us and for the rest of the galaxy."

"How do you know what's safe or what isn't?" Yellow challenged. "I understand that you were raised with different values, but you can't force change overnight and expect it to right everything."

"I've been working with Homeworld for three years!"

"Three years?" The Diamond stood up, running her fingers through her hair. "Stars help us, it's only been three years. How did we manage to go from galactic superpower to galactic embarrassment in three years?"

Blue took her arm. "Perhaps we should adjourn for now."

"That might be for the best," she reluctantly agreed. Yellow clapped her hands. "That will be all, Steven."

Steven saluted the typical Earth salute, turning away. Frustration bubbled just below the surface, but yelling at Yellow and Blue rarely seemed to do much good. It usually just made it all drag out more.

"He's so different from her," he overheard Blue murmur on the way out. "Yellow, what if he never remembers being Pink?"

Yellow's eyes fluttered shut. "I'm not willing to consider that option, Blue."

Overall, Steven spent the least amount of time on Homeworld as physically possible. As important as maintaining connections was, especially as the fully realized Ambassador of Earth (and, as some Gems felt the need to tack on, Keeper of a Diamond's Stone), there was something about the hard planes and structures that had never quite sat right with him. Unfortunately, Steven couldn't stay away very much anymore, seeing how pivotal his voice was for Era 3.

It had been two weeks since he'd stopped by the beach house, and it was of very little surprise to him that no one else was around when he warped inside- save for Bismuth, of course, who even after almost half a decade of peace refused to even contemplate returning to Homeworld. She tended to the house while they were away, drawing up plans and designs for various Gem machines designed more for safety and protection than war. Not that her impressive sword collection ever had the slightest chance to grow dusty, as she built and sculpted them in her free time.

"Hey," she said, sequestering over half the couch with her size. "How'd it go?"

Steven groaned. "Politics are horrible."

"Yellow being a butthead again?"

He flopped down beside her. "I get why she does it. I do. She asks the questions, I answer, nobody can pull them out later and blindside us. But does she have to be so mean about it?"

"Sounds rough, buddy." Bismuth leaned over to nudge his shoulder. "Hit me up if you ever get sick of hurdles, alright? I'll make you something nice and sharp."

Steven smiled. Homeworld seemed like it was constantly moving in some way or another- hustle and bustle, destruction and construction, who White Diamond was not pleased with that particular day- but the Gems themselves didn't change. He hadn't changed. "Thanks, Bismuth."

He doesn't recall falling asleep.

Connie's official title was Protector of the Ambassador- which is overtly long and means almost nothing to anyone; but, in Homeworld's defense, the Gems have always gone by their type. They've never needed official titles before the Crystal Gems brought them home with them- but most of them just referred to her as The Connie. At thirteen, that had bothered her greatly. At sixteen, she hardly even noticed.

But a lot had changed in three simple years. Connie had nearly tripled in height, finding herself at the same height as Pearl. Her arms and face held a scattering of scars from various violent exchanges as debates had gone on- scars that Steven could have healed up, of course, but Connie had demanded they stay, noticing that the discolorations intimidated Gems. Maybe they were reminded of Jaspers when they saw the scratch that went from her lip and over her eye, or the deep line on her shoulder she had tattooed over with a single star- and, if so, they'd have every right to be frightened. Her sword, made by Bismuth, was swirled with pink and white like a Cookie Cat, tapered to her specific height, and hung carefully from her hip.

Another sign of change was the Gems who met her at the door- not Agates, but an Amethyst and a Ruby, who gave her a respectful salute and sheepish smiles. Connie saluted them back with the signature diamond shape before going inside.

"Diamonds," she greeted, not particularly worried by how they both snapped to attention as she strolled into the room. Connie felt bad for interrupting whatever private moment they'd been sharing, but duty is duty. "I just wanted to stop by and tell you Steven's gone back to Earth for a visit."

"Of course," Yellow said, bitter, as she rubbed at her eyelids. "Make a big speech before vanishing off the planet to goof around with his rebel friends. That's so typical."

"He wants us to bring Pearls into the workforce," Blue explained, as if Connie didn't already know.

"I'm aware, ma'am."

"You were trained by one, correct? What do you think of all of this?"

"I give the proposition my full support, ma'am," Connie said firmly. "No one has the right to tell anyone what they should be, and that's what Homeworld's done for centuries now. If you really wanna change, you have to go all the way."

"Where does that put us, then?" Yellow challenged. "Diamonds are created to rule. If we break all the barriers, what happens to our system?"

"No one ever said it wasn't going to be messy, ma'am."

Yellow seemed to sink under the weight of that statement. For once, it's Blue who says that's all. Connie saluted again and walked back out, wondering with a shake of her head if there had ever been a point to any of this.

Lion seems to enjoy hopping between her and Steven, taking random Ruby ships from Homeworld to Earth and back. Today he's waiting for her outside the palace, eager to get back to what could technically be called an apartment, if apartments didn't require rent or have basic plumbing. In it's own right, it's an honor they even built a room semi-suitable to human cohabitation in the first place for them. It was just a shame that they had such limited knowledge.

The apartment is a perfectly set rectangle in the wall of one of Homeworld's many spires. It's an ugly, washed out shade of blue- like the ocean but ten times less beautiful- and contains exactly one lump that she expected was supposed to be a bed or couch or both. Her parents had insisted on getting her a comfy armchair, which was a brown smudge in the corner. The cherry on top of the horrifyingly ugly color-nightmare was Captain Lars, snoring in said ugly brown chair, in said ugly blue room, his pastel pink skin glaring.

"Back from shipment?" she asked, dismounting Lion.

"Hmm?" Lars tipped his head back, reluctantly opening his eyes. "Oh. Hey. Yeah, I'm back."

"You sound ever so pleased about that."

"I'm bored. Whatever happened to cool boss fights and daring space chases?" He flicked his cape over his shoulder dramatically. "Now I just haul cargo. You're basically a door-holder, and Steven spends his days telling giant Diamonds that maybe people should be allowed to actually think for themselves."

"The cool boss fights and space chases didn't do as much as we hoped, I guess." Connie shrugged, setting her sword aside. "It just kind of evolved into this."

"Hey, I got my buddies to Earth just fine."

"I know, and it was awesome." A giggle erupted from her, remembering her involvement fondly. "They still tell stories about you in the public octagon. Especially the Emeralds."

Lars clicked his tongue and shot some finger guns her way.

[hey-hey-its-magic]

I'm interested in your Baldur's Gate University au,,, im a sucker for uni aus and I wanna see where you take it owo. Also, bc of the steal haha

omg it stars my disaster warlock mags, who i've stopped using for bg3 simply bc she's got her own story i wanna focus on telling. she's a warlock pact of the undying and literally, through a lich using her heart as a phylactery instead of anything normal, cannot stay dead.

once again, jaez (my beloved) belongs to @enmity-encountered

(lore note: kelemvor is a lawful-neutral god of death, very repulsed by necromancy)

bgu (baldur's gate university):

Mags woke up to her phone ringing and a splitting headache. She bitterly rolled over in her disheveled bed and grabbed it, seeing the name printed there was “Alfin Eijit-ton.” She swore to herself and answered it, knowing her boss wouldn’t be happy knowing she had been asleep while she was on-call.

“Maggy,” Alfin Agiton’s voice was high-pitched, squeaky, and just as annoying as someone would expect from a gnome in upper-level management, “Got a call today-- found a corpse in the woods. Need you to pick them up. You want me to tell you the address, or just send it to you?”

“Just send it-- you know I don’t follow directions well.”

“Yeah, no shit,” Alfin laughed, “Alright. Go get ‘em. Also-- looks like it was an owlbear attack. That won’t bother you, right?”

“Hah! Not in the slightest.”

“Good girl-- this is why I like you. See you when you get here, then.”

“‘Course. Later, Agiton.”

She hung up the phone and groaned. It was a little past two in the morning, right now. In a fluid, graceless motion, she slapped the shoulder of the half-elf that had been quietly snoring next to her. Gaeric, his name was, she thought.

“‘Uh?” He pronounced, startled out of his sex-induced slumber.

“Get out. Need to go to work,” Mags spoke simply.

“Huh?” He spoke a little bit more clearer, shoulder-length, dirty-blonde hair falling around his ears as he rolled to look at her, “But it’s--” He glanced around, before finding his phone haphazardly discarded on the floor, “--it’s two-ten in the morning!”

“Yeah,” She rolled her eyes, moving to stand up and stretch her sore limbs, “You think people don’t die at night?”

The look on his face was adorable. She loved scaring people. He didn’t know her actual job, she didn’t think, and with her collection of very specific knives on display on the dresser she was digging through, he probably thought she was a hitman. She glanced over her shoulder as she pulled on the simple black polo that was her work uniform and saw that, judging by the horror on his face, yes, he thought she was a hitman.

She hadn’t seen a half-awake half-elf move so fast, especially on those comically shaky legs after she had pegged him into oblivion. He scrambled for his clothes while Mags took her sweet time, easily navigating her shitty apartment in the dark with the barest hints of moonlight that peeked through her curtains. Gaeric was having no such luck-- despite his darkvision, he still fumbled and tripped over her dirty laundry and toys that had been tossed about. Mags couldn’t help the sadistic grin that formed at his struggle. She pulled on her jeans and slipped into her shoes, and by the time she found her keys, Gaeric was half-dressed well enough to make the drive back to Elturel.

“You’re sure I have to leave?”

“Yes.”

“I--” One look at her face shut him up. “O-Okay. Hopefully we can do this again--!”

She all but shoved him out the door, stepping out behind him and locking it. He tried vainly to make smalltalk on the way down the stairs, but she pointedly ignored him. She felt like a damned pedophile looking at the boy now-- he was all of 21, trying so hard to impress her. She didn’t have the heart to tell him that there was nothing about him that was impressive, except maybe for how much he cried taking her strap.

Ah, well. Nothing a good talk in therapy wouldn’t fix.

She bid him farewell with a simple wave as she got into her car, and drove to Agiton Memorial Services to pick up the company car.

----

Mags followed her GPS until she hit the coordinates of the body. It was right inside the Cloak Wood, because of course it was, where the hell else would they find some dumbass who had gotten mauled by an owlbear but right on the inside of the Cloak Wood. She parked the van on the side of the road, which she had so cleverly dubbed the ‘corpse-mobile,’ and opened the back preemptively, in case anything decided to try and maul her and she needed to make a quick escape. Machete in hand, she creeped into the Cloak Wood.

Giving a wide berth to the hangman tree she spotted, it took her about twenty minutes of stumbling in the dark to find the body. It was a younger dragonborn woman, looking no older than 30, with her chest carved open and her entrails sprawled across the forest floor. Mags simply sighed, clicking her tongue.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” She sighed, putting her machete in its sheath and pulling gloves out of her pocket. She started tucking the poor carcass’ organs back into her thoracic cavity, sloppily, and Mags couldn’t help but think it looked like a twisted version of a child trying to put together a puzzle. Now, how the hells was she going to get the three-hundred-pound dragonborn twenty minutes from her resting place to the damned van?

With an even deeper sigh, Mags pulled duct tape from her bag and hastily taped up the festering opening, thankful that it stuck easily to the gold scales of the woman. This was to ensure they didn’t slop out while she was leading the corpse out of the woods.

Then she planted her feet in the dirt, reached out through her mind and into Aenwon’s, and began to recite words in an ancient tongue that she didn’t know, but Aenwon certainly did.

The banelich holding her metaphorical leash spoke cruel words to her as she used his knowledge for her own gains, but she ignored him, as she had every day for fifty fucking years. It was not enough of an offence to demand punishment, she knew, as soon his obnoxious grumbling ceased and Mags could finish the spell in peace.

The dragonborn’s eyes glowed and she roared in rasping terror. Mags just tsked, shaking her head.

“Get ‘em off, get ‘em off--!” The corpse wailed pathetically.

“Now, now, the beastie’s long gone,” Mags crossed her arms, “Come, now. Let’s get you out of these woods.”

The corpse stared blankly up at Mags, before doing as it was instructed.

The golden dragonborn stood nearly two heads taller than Mags, and walked with the shambling limp characteristic of zombies. She grasped at her duct taped tummy, whimpering pathetically.

“I wouldn’t do that, if I were you,” Mags shrugged, leading the way to the van, “I’m not pickin’ your innards up again.”

The look the corpse gave her was comically confused. Mags simply smiled, trying not to be too abrasive or callous. Hells, her pick-up might run deeper into the Cloak Wood, and then what the hells would she tell Alfin? She’d lose her job for sure if the cleric of Kelemvor found out the reason she was so easily able to heft bodies thrice her weight was because she simply made them get up and walk. As it was, he didn’t ask questions, glad to only pay one person for the labor of two or three, and she was glad to collect the whole commission instead of having to split it. Ethics be damned.

“What,” The corpse rasped with the slur distinctive to the risen undead, “What happened to me?”

“Well, I’m afraid you died.”

“What?!”

Mags shrugged, “Dunno what you were expecting, poking around the Cloak Wood,” She turned her gaze to the corpse, trying to hide her eagerness, “Maybe you were picked up and brought here? Maybe someone went missing?”

The corpse stilled for a moment, before she shook her head, “No,” She breathed, “I just wanted it over. Why am I alive?”

“You’re not,” Mags clarified, trying to hide the disappointment in her voice. Just once she’d like to pick up a murder victim, hear some sick true-crime story no one but her would ever know about. Maybe pick up vigilante justice as a hobby, “But it’s just me and I’m not near strong enough to drag you all the way to the van. Don’t worry, you’re sweet, endless slumber will come soon enough.”

“What is wrong with you?” The corpse accused, and this made Mags laugh aloud.

“Oho! So many things.”

The van came into view, and Mags gestured to the back. “You want top, left or right? Guess it don’t very well matter, once you’re secured you’ll be back to being very lifeless.”

“You’re cruel,” The corpse hissed, “You’re evil.”

Mags simply shrugged, “Say what you will, love. The words of the dead don’t very well trouble me.”

The dragonborn laid on the left gurney, and Mags got in the back and strapped her to it.

“Alright, well, it was a pleasure meeting you, I suppose. Enjoy the ever-after, you lucky fuck.”

With a wave of her hand, the spell ended, and the dragonborn woman fell limp. Nothing more than a corpse.

Mags stepped out of the van and slammed the doors closed. She got in the driver’s seat, and made her way back to the mortuary.

---

It was now four in the morning, and Mags stumbled her way into her night class, still in her work uniform. The Modern History class was an absolute mish-mash of Baldur’s Gate’s hardest working citizens, from tieflings to humans to half-orcs, with a handful of deep gnomes, a few escaped duergar and drow. Mags sat next to a rarity, although his oddness was blended out by the sheer diversity of the class-- Jaez Yaantau’e, a half-drow by upbringing but half-orc by attitude and appearance. His silver eyes shifted to her clumsy footsteps, and his decidedly orcish nose wrinkled in disgust at her approach.

“Lolth’s silk,” He cursed, “What in the hells is that stench, Mags?”

She looked off thoughtfully as she recklessly threw her ass in her chair, causing enough of a thump! That a few of her classmates looked over, only to be utterly unsurprised and return to their notes. “Oh, let’s see. Starting back at about… eight o’clock yesterday-- cheap beer, that half-elf’s cologne, lube-sweat-’n-tears, bourbon, my horrible morning breath, and… dead dragonborn.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you,” Jaez asked, although it was more of a statement-- he was already plenty aware. This made Mags giggle, before a look from her indigo-skinned friend made her put her hands up in defense.

“Oh, come now! I was on-call this morning, hardly my fault the dragonborn chose suicide-by-owlbear and her body wasn’t found at a more reasonable hour!”

“Your blatant lack of compassion scares me.”

Mags rolled her eyes, “You know in full why I couldn’t give less of a shit.”

“That’s the only reason why we’re still friends, Mags. You really have no respect for the dead.”

“Why the hells should I? You ever talked to them? Most disrespectful lot I’ve ever seen. I had the courtesy to explain what happened to this poor wanker and she called me ‘evil’ and ‘cruel’!”

Jaez hissed, glaring at her, “You really cannot talk like that. If people hear what you dabble in during your freetime you’re going to get expelled.”

“And I’ll lose my job, too,” She said with an amused grin, “Oh, the sweet irony of a cleric of Kelemvor hiring me, of all people.”

Jaez’s expression twisted into shocked horror, and Mags could only cackle.

“Your boss is a cleric of Kelemvor??? And this is what you’re doing to his clients?!”

Mags answered his accusation with a mad laugh. He pressed his fingers to his temples, sighing through his teeth.

“You’re fucking impossible. Absolutely ridiculous. Talk to me about anything other than this.”

“Whatever you say, then.” She smirked at her ex-roommate, “I finally met with that kid from Elturel.”

“And?” He grumbled, gladly taking the escape from their earlier topic, “How was he?”

“Absolutely pitiful,” She grinned, “It’s really embarrassing when they don’t even try to play the game. I said ‘keep this up and I’m going to have to fuck you roughly,’ and he just moaned like some wanton pig in heat.”

“I trust you kicked him out?” Jaez asked, with far too much hope for someone who’d known Mags as closely as he did.

“Of course not-- I pegged the living hells out of that motherfucker.”

Jaez dropped his head immediately back into his cupped hands, taking a long, deep breath. If there was one thing she loved more than scaring regular people, it was getting Jaez wound up. While he didn’t have too much attachment to morality, he put a lot of faith in good sense, something Mags had been lacking since-- hells, probably when she fell head-over-heels for Lloyd Smith in her youth.

“Magdahlia, I swear,” He cursed, lifting his head to look at her, “You make my continued existence painful, knowing there are people out there like you.”

“Oh, honey,” She chided, leaning back in her chair as the professor took to the podium, “There’s no one out there like me-- I’m one of a kind.”

“I fucking hope so, couldn’t handle two of you.”

Mags had to squash her laughter as the professor opened his lecture.

[shuakkinda-blog]

Chan crushing on you !! // scenario

A bullet-point scenario starring Lee Chan/Dino !!

Feel free to request scenarios and reactions on my page :)

- Chan has grown up so much since his predebut days

- he isn’t a lil baby anymore and I CHOKE EVERY TIME I SAY THAT ISTG

- he’s become so mature and intelligent and sassy (courtesy of seungkwan) and charming and

- damnit

- he’s not even the same Chan we started out with in the Adore U era

- his growth over the past few years is just c r a z y

- BUT EVERYONE STILL TREATS HIM LIKE THE FAMILY FETUS LOL

- a lot of times I sense that Chan doesn’t wanna labeled “the group baby”

- and he definitely wouldn’t want to have this kind of “baby reputation” when he’s trying to go after a girl he likes

- because oh man when Chan starts crushing on someone and the members find out

- he’ll be babied a whole lot more than he already is sorry chan

- let’s get right into the scenario :D

- the first day of your internship at pledis, you’re introduced to the group you’ll be working under

- seventeen !!!!

- and during your personal introduction, you can’t help but notice all the members acting...

- strange

- is it something I’m saying? My accent? Is there something on my face??? you think to yourself

- you’re so confused

- but after some more observations, you notice one thing

- the members keep on looking at one specific member

- and the ones who are right next to him are constantly nudging his arm

- the targeted guy’s face is stolid, but it breaks every once in awhile when he tells the other members to knock off their nonsense

- after you finish your own introductions, the seventeen members begin introducing themselves individually

- and the guy that everyone was bothering during your introduction eventually steps up to introduce himself

- “Hi, I’m Dino. Nice to meet you,” he says sweetly

- his brief sentence is followed up by quiet laughter and finger-poking at the poor boy

- “stop it,” he whispers to the others

- you don’t get it

- were they poking fun at him because of you

- and if they were, why??? why you?

- after your introductions, one member agrees to take you on a mini tour of the company building

- “hi, I’m Jeonghan,” he greets you

- you greet him with a hello and your name before you begin a conversation as you walk through your tour

- you guys get along comfortably, and by the end of the tour, the both of you are practically conversing the way best friends would

- as he leads you to building exit to end the day, he asks you

- “y/n, I know this is really random, but did you happen to see any of us members around the building when you first arrived today?”

- you don’t recall seeing anyone so you reply

- “I don’t think so, why?”

- “ah nothing,” he smiles but it appears he’s holding back a laugh. “I was just wondering...”

- did that have to do with the way Dino was treated earlier?

- you shrug it off for a little and head home after exchanging goodbyes with that nice tour guide

- but at night you can’t help but think of what happened earlier again

- even though you don’t know what all the fuss was with Dino and the other members

- it’s bothering you

- what did you do? was it even your fault? or was it his?

- you tell yourself to forget about it and start off clean on the first official day of work tomorrow

- when you report to the company building the next day, everything goes the way your internship advisor has said it would go

- you pick up your to-do list from your boss’s office and go off to wherever you feel like doing your work in the building

- and after spending a lot of time trying to find vacant places to work, you finally find the practice room to be empty

- you find it kind of weird because lol aren’t there a lot of groups under pledis that practice daily???

- but you go with it bc you’re not complaining

- it’s a nice room :D

- wElp s0rry, you were kinda right earlier when you said artists need to practice there because GUESS WHO DECIDES TO WALK IN THE SECOND YOU GET SETTLED

- “Oh, hello, y/n,” Dino greets you with a bow

- you do the same for him, but you can’t help but feel kind of awkward as he drops his backpack by the sound booth right next to your workplace and gets settled into the room

- “I hope you don’t mind if I play songs on the sound system for practice right now?” he asks you

- “oh it’s okay,” you reply. “I usually like to have a little bit of music playing while I work on things anyways.”

- “okay!” he replies cheerfully. “Just let me know if you need anything, alright?”

- aw this guy is so... nice?

- “thank you, Dino,” you smile

- “oh no, please call me Chan,” he laughs shyly. “I mean... Dino, Chan, it’s up to you, really.”

- “okay Chan,” you smile at your paperwork and get started with your tasks

- he smiles as he starts playing the first song

- you don’t know this but Chan gets this warm feeling in his chest when he hears your voice chime his real name for the first time

- ahgghh I can’t let the hyungs think they’re right, he thinks to himself

- promise yourself now, Chan, that you won’t end up liking this girl

- I mean pshh this is only your second time seeing her

- that weird thing in your chest can’t be anything significant

- right?

- lmao just wait, Chan

- so the both of you are pretty much silent in the practice room

- well besides the music playing in the background

- there’s no conversation

- it’s just you working on paperwork and Chan working on choreography

- from where you are sitting, you can see Chan’s phone hooked up to the speaker system on the sound booth

- and whenever you got curious as to what a certain song’s title was, you’d peek over from your desk to see his phone screen

- after awhile, you notice his phone practically blowing up with messages

- since the phone is so close to you, your eyes can’t help but read a few of them:

- Seungkwan: “tryna show off your dancing skills to the girl, hUH”

- Seungcheol: “I see you, Channie ;)”

- Minghao: “yo I didn’t think you’d actually like her, but I guess you do since you’re literally practicing dancing in the same room she’s working in on purpose”

- Jeonghan: “EY AEGI (baby in korean) GO GET ITTTTT~”

- you blush a little at the messages

- it was pretty obvious

- they couldn’t be talking about anyone else but you

- you look out the windows and doors and see if anyone’s peeking into the practice room, but there’s no one

- are they hiding or something?

- how did they know we’re in the same room?

- and does Chan... like me???

- you want to tell Chan that his phone is exploding with messages, but you don’t want to seem nosy

- so you sit quietly and continue your work

- but ofc Chan, being a little self-conscious around the new intern, glances back at you every now and then while he’s practicing

- he catches you looking at his phone

- “hey, is something wrong?”

- “OH nothing nothing!!” you panic and revert your eyes back to your papers. “I’m just... checking out the song titles, that’s all.”

- you technically weren’t lying because you had been checking the titles earlier, but you only told half of the truth so you’re still kinda guilty LOL

- but Chan believes you and flashes you another cute smile before continuing his practice

- you finish your work, and the both of you say goodbye before parting ways

- Chan decides to take a look at his phone after you leave

- and his mouth drops at the sight of all the messages the members spammed him with

- and they we’re all obviously about you

- he’s pretty sure you saw these messages too since they were sent awhile ago rip

- WHY DO THEY ALWAYS GOTTA PICK ON ME AT THE WORST TIMES, Chan would think as he covers his face with a hand

- he informs the members about this on the svt group chat

- Chan: “GUYS WHAT THE HELL”

- Jeonghan: “Oh is lil aegi mad?”

- Mingyu: “dude what’s with the angry text?”

- Chan: “WHY WERE YOU ALL SPAMMING MY PHONE”

- Chan: “AND POINTING OUT Y/N”

- Mingyu: “because we all know you got a little crush on her lmao”

- Chan: “BUT YOU GUYS”

- Chan: “YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND”

- Joshua: “wdym”

- Seungkwan: “yeah calm down. it’s not like she saw them”

- Seungkwan: “right?”

- Chan: “...”

- Seungcheol: “shit”

- Hansol: “oh my god we’re sorry, Chan”

- Seokmin: “LMAO DID SHE REALLY SEE THEM?”

- Minghao: “lol guys we really fucked it up”

- Chan: “yes she was looking at my phone and she said she was looking at the song titles, but now I think she was lying”

- Junhui: “oh yeah she was definitely lying then”

- Junhui: “If I were her, I’d be more interested in those juicy texts than some song title”

- Chan: “I hate all of you”

- Jeonghan: “wait Chan”

- Chan puts away his phone and flushes red in anger and embarrassment

- he doesn’t wanna care about what happened because he doesn’t have any concrete feelings for you

- but at the same time he cares a lot because now it’s gonna be very awkward between you two

- what are you supposed to think of Chan after seeing those messages?

- a part of him wants to hide from you for the rest of his life

- but luckily, his mature side takes over and makes the decision to talk it out with you the next time you guys bump into each other

- a day or two later, Chan spots you in the hallway

- and he finds himself walking toward you

- here we go, the both of you think simultaneously at the sight of each other

- “hey y/n,” Chan greets you

- “hi Chan.”

- silence follows

- “look, about the other day... ugh I hate to be like this with you but... were you really looking at the song titles when I asked?” he gets into the questions right away

- you know exactly was he’s talking about, and you know you would feel guilty if you pretended to not know

- “oh, well yeah I was checking for the titles at first, but then... you got a few texts and-”

- “I know, I just want to apologize for... those,” he looks down to avoid your eyes

- “It’s okay! I know what it feels like to be in that kind of position where your friends constantly bug you about a specific person,” you explain sympathetically. Chan looks up at you again

- “oh, really?” he smiles. Wow, she actually understands me...

- you nod. “Yeah, I get it.”

- Chan sighs in relief

- “Maybe we should start again?” you suggest

- you hold out a hand and the both of you reintroduce each other with a handshake

- Chan would be so freaking happy when he clears that all up with you

- he’ll probably hit up the group chat again

- Chan: “I’m sorry for getting mad the other day”

- Mingyu: “now you come crawling back huh”

- Seungcheol: “hey he’s apologizing, just take it”

- Joshua: “no we should be apologizing, Chan. we went a little too crazy with the spam the other day and we’re sorry”

- Seokmin: “none of this would’ve happened tho if Chan hadn’t said y/n looked pretty when he saw her walking into the building on her first day”

- Hansol: “lol”

- Jeonghan: “SEOKMIN STOP”

- Minghao: “he’s kinda right tho, it all started there”

- Chan: “wow I come back to apologize and this is what I get”

- Seungkwan: “Seungcheol: hey chan, did the new intern walk in yet?”

- Seungkwan: “Chan: I dunno, maybe. I just saw a pretty girl walking into the building a few minutes ago”

- Seungkwan: “everyone else in svt: OOOHHH DID CHAN JUST CALL A GIRL PRETTY???”

- Seungkwan: “Chan: WAIT NO I DIDN’T MEAN TO SAY- BUT- HADKGFJS. STOOOP.”

- Jeonghan: “SEUNGKWAN, RECAPPING THE MOMENT THAT STARTED ALL OF THIS ISN’T HELPING RN”

- Seungkwan: “ok I’m sorry”

- Chan: “it’s okay we made up. I explained everything”

- Wonwoo: “so are you guys friends now?”

- Chan: “I guess???”

- Mingyu: “:3:3:3:3:3″

- Soonyoung: “my boy”

- Minghao: “we all know you want more than that though”

- Chan: “bye I regret coming back to this group chat”

- Seungcheol: “NEXT PERSON TO ATTACK CHAN HAS TO CLEAN ALL THE LAUNDRY, YOU HEAR ME??”

- with this new, clean slate, Chan would feel so confident about initiating conversations with you and joining you at work for mini hangouts

- and tbh he wouldn’t even notice that he’s been developing a legitimate crush on you unless another member talks to him about it

- maybe Soonyoung because he’s got the cutest hyung-dongsaeng relationship with Chan :’)

- you’d be hanging out with Chan in the practice room again when Soonyoung comes in to get ready for the performance team practice coming up in a few minutes

- knowing their schedule, you say your goodbyes before leaving the two dancers alone in the room

- Soonyoung turns to Chan and grins as soon as you close the door and depart

- “Chan, admit it. You like her.”

- “no no, I’d never-” the maknae shakes his head in denial but Soonyoung interrupts his sentence

- “then tell me why you’re always hanging out with her.”

- “I mean is it wrong to hang out with friends??”

- “there’s nothing wrong with ‘hanging out with friends’ but there’s a difference between that and constantly talking to a single person 24/7.”

- “what? What are you talking about?”

- “I see you texting y/n on your phone all the time, and as soon as she gets to the building for work, you guys meet up and hang out for hours.”

- “She’s not objecting to any of it though...” Chan shrugs and hides a smile

- “YEAH EXACTLY. So don’t give me that ‘I don’t have feelings for her’ bullshit because I won’t believe you,” Soonyoung narrows his eyes at Chan and shakes his head

- “okay fine,” Chan blushes. “Maybe I kind of like her...”

- “kind of??? Dude, you’re so whipped for this girl.”

- so Chan accepts his feelings for you

- luckily, the way he’ll act around you won’t be too different from the way he treated you before

- except he’d be smiling a whole lot more when he’s with you

- it’s just because he can’t believe how lucky he is to be this close to his crush I’m crying how pure :’)

- the only other difference in hanging out with him while he has a crush on you would be ALL OF THE BABYING FROM HIS HYUNGS OMF

- you’d be having such a great time JUST with Chan, but then some member like Junhui would walk in and think it’s a f a n t a s t i c day to run over to Chan and pinch his cheeks to embarrass him

- “JUN HYUNG, PLEASE NO,” Chan would plead constantly

- his face would be heating up and you’d be there laughing at how funny his hyungs can be

- Chan would probably be annoyed every time this happens, but he’ll get used to it eventually sorry Chan pt.2

- tbh he wouldn’t really think of confessing because he’d love how perfect your friendship is with him the way its, and he wouldn’t want to ruin it

- so if anything, the confession would be by accident

- and ofc what kind of confession would it be without the help of his lovely, supportive hyungs ;)

- so one day, you come a little late to work and find svt practicing altogether in the practice room

- you don’t get to see all of them together very often, so you weren’t ready for the explosion of “OOHS” directed at Chan and you as you walked in

- “jeez, you guys are never gonna live this down huh,” Chan rolls his eyes at the cooing members as he comes over to you to give you a hug

- “again, it’s all your fault for not filtering your mouth when you first saw her,” Seokmin spills out

- “wait what?” you ask out of confusion

- Chan gives Seokmin wide eyes with the other members. Did he really just say that??? Chan panics

- Seokmin adds. “Whaat? You guys haven’t told her about that yet?”

- “NO WHY WOULD WE TELL HER,” Mingyu laughs at Seokmin

- “tell me what?” you quirk up an eyebrow.

- “NOTHING, HE’S JUST...” Chan reddens

- “HALLUCINATING, YEAH THAT’S ALL. I’M HALLUCINATING,” Seokmin awkwardly laughs and scratches the back of his head

- you face gets serious. “Out with it, guys.”

- “y/n, it’s nothing imp-” Chan tries to explain

- “Chan, cut the crap. Tell me what’s going on,” you say a little more sternly

- the maknae sighs

- “just tell her already,” Soonyoung insists

- “okay fine,” Chan says a little frustrated. “On the day you reported to the company building for the first time, Seungcheol was asking all of us to keep an eye out for you, the new intern, so we can let your boss know.”

- “I saw you walking through the hallways, but I didn’t know whether or not you were the one they’re looking for. So when Seungcheol asked us if we saw “the intern,” I told him I wasn’t sure but I saw a...”

- he pauses out of hesitation

- “a girl,” he says and looks down

- “umm... I still don’t get it?” you respond

- Chan hesitates again

- “a pretty girl is what he meant to say. He called you pretty and everyone went crazy over it,” Jeonghan clarifies

- “... really?” you ask

- Chan nods as he faces the floor

- you try to fight a smile but can’t seem hold in the feeling of flattery

- “to be honest,” you cover your smile with a hand as you begin to put a statement together. “I thought Chan was kinda cute when we first met too”

- Chan looks at you and his mouth widens at your words

- if y/n thinks I’m cute, does that mean she... likes me too?

- “OOOOHHHH,” the 12 other guys coo loudly

- he smiles

- maybe confessing right now wouldn’t be such a bad idea, he contemplates

- “well to be honest with you,” he starts. “I’ve always thought you’re...”

- the words are stuck in his throat

- “CHAN JUST SAY IT ALREADY,” Soonyoung yells from the crowd of members

- “CUTE, I’VE ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU WERE CUTE AND I LIKE YOU OKAY?” Chan covers his mouth after his confession.

- his words are followed by another loud cheer from the rest of the group

- you blush in embarrassment as the others rush to Chan’s side and cheer him on with hugs

- “he’s grown up so fAST,” Jeonghan fake sobs as he holds onto Chan tightly

- “don’t reject out little guy, he’s a great boy,” Seungcheol says to you and pats Chan’s head

- you look over to Chan and his face is as red as a tomato. His eyes are glued to the floor

- “I’ve liked you for awhile too, Chan,” you confess quietly, but everyone still manages to hear it

- and at the sound of your response, the members push Chan towards you, and your body accidentally collides with his

- he backs away a bit to take a look at your face

- “sooooo.... what now?” he asks awkwardly as he stands in front of you

- “hmm... how about coffee at the cafe tomorrow?” you offer with a smile

- Chan laughs lightly. “Meet up here at 8am and we can walk together if you want.”

- you nod and the members resume their cheering

- “WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? HUG HER, CHAN,” Soonyoung screams again

- Chan opens up his arms and you come in for an extremely warm hug. He gently sways you side to side in his embrace I’M DEAD

- “NOW KISS,” Seokmin suddenly adds, but his comment is then greeted with light punches and hits from the other members

- Chan and you laugh at the suggestion

- “I think we’ve had enough of the babying today,” Chan says before he plants a soft kiss on your cheek

- “CHAN YOU’RE GROUNDED,” Jeonghan scolds him

[moonlighcts-blog]

hi everyone it’s me hanne, 18 y/o, she/her ( as of now ) and from the gmt+1 time zone, ur local tired, confused and gay Mess of a person and i’m back on my bullshit !! i said i was gonna post my intro when i got back home but it got late yesterday and i am v v v sorry for this Late Af intro... anyway hmu on discord @ chanyeol#5388 if u want to and/or like this post if u wanna plot with me or anything idk i promise i’m friendly !! alright my chara is min yoora, her color is blossom and my pinterest board for her is here so [ jooheon vc ] let’s get it !! 

BACKGROUND

she was born in seoul and lived there until she was like 3 years old 

then her fam ( mom, dad, a dog and a brother ) moved bc of her dad’s work,, little did she know she would move more than once

so they moved to chongqing and lived there for about three years, then it was off to the us ( california and nyc to be specific ) for like two years or so, back to china again just shanghai this time for six months and then to beijing for like another six months and finally back to south korea where they finally settled down again

so bc yoora moved quite a lot when she was younger it was hard for her to make friends bc she never knew when she’d be moving again, and she wouldn’t wanna get too close to anyone bc of that so she was quite lonely 

she really thought all this moving was due to her dad’s work but wow how wrong could she get :// the only places they moved where work was involved were guangzhou and the us.... damn son

basically her dad committed fraud ( embezzlement ), the company found out and the whole thing after that was Ugly. he desperately tried to get back his job etc but it didn’t work and he didn’t have the heart to tell his family so he just pretended shit for god knows how long. in the end he had to tell his wife so together they hid it from their kids meanwhile trying to fix it. when they moved they used the excuse of his work but in reality it was bc of her now bc they lit begged her boss to make her work wherever they moved and they couldn’t just drop everything and go back to seoul. so this went on all the while yoora and her siblings were unaware of what was happening

he was sentenced to prison for five years when they came back to south korea and in the meantime her mother had to take care of the kids

word got out that she had a parent in prison and it made middle school hard for her as people at school bothered her and such, so she just kept to herself

high school came and it got a little better but still 

moved from seoul to gwangsan to get away from everyone she knew and to get a new start

works as a florist

PERSONALITY

a v v kind soul

she’s outgoing, caring, likes to talk to everyone and is sweet as heck

but she’s also p naive ?? like she’s been fucked over and used by so many she thought loved her back but still thinks people deserve a second chance bc she sees the good in them

u could literally break her heart a million times and she’d still forgive u

speaking of forgiving, she’s a lil too quick to forgive someone and it’s like one of her biggest weaknesses 

also v hardworking and won’t stop until she’s happy with her work, she pulled some all-nighters in high school 

stresses a Whole Lot like pls chill. when she’s too stressed she cries

can go silent when that bright ass mood disappears 

can literally not go a day without coffee or tea bc she loves it so freaking much ??? pretty sure half her body is made of those things only

has a golden retriever named luna, she’s the cutest 

loves a good ass book, can read for hours while listening to music 

also likes to draw

plants !! flowers !! her apartment has quite many plants,, probs close to 20... not that she counted lmao wdym

can speak korean, mandarin and english

i think this is it ?? ask if there’s anything more ur wondering about !!

[earthdeep]

so I actually finished fe echoes shadows of valentia after *checks back through blog* about one and a half years. or rather, I got totally fed up on my first playthrough and restarted a few days ago bc I was sick of having it semi-complete. I have Thoughts so... under the cut

might as well get the technical stuff out the way. 

loved the artstyle. but the ui fucking sucked. all the important numbers and stuff is WAAAAAY too small to make room for character portraits and the layout of a lot of options is just... weird. oh and there’s no way to look at a zoomed out map and it’s a pain in the arse when I just wanna check where the fucking enemies are.

combat system is... definitely interesting for a fire emblem game. I enjoyed it overall, but it felt a bit lopsided. no weapon durability (yay), no weapon triangle (eh), magic users learn spells in character specific orders (hm), 90% of bow using enemies can’t do shit against fliers (wtf?), absurdly high crit rates (ugh)... lance users ended up near useless by endgame. I had a single one who could hit hard enough to take down an act 5 enemy, and he was too slow to chase them. meanwhile I could keep my archers back way out of enemies’ range and crit them, or field my many mages who could do massive damage AND heal each other constantly. srsly, all hail our lady and saviour delthea, who by the final boss had 30 atk and could oneshot almost every enemy with her lowest level spell. she is the best, and I love her very much.

there was a lot of other fidgety stuff especially on the overworld that really got on my nerves after a while. I’ve never been fond of the point hopping system that’s fairly common in tactical rpgs, but echoes has the infuriating variation that forces u to fight every respawning enemy u cross. fuck those graveyards. fuck them to hell. especially fuck them when I have to pass them so often to complete sidequests in the villages and such. but at least dungeon exploring is still fun. well, I say that, and it leads into another bother.

fates, the previous fe game, did a lot to improve the experience of casual players such as myself. the protagonist being allowed to fall in battle without an insta game over, for example. phoenix mode was nice for replays too, tho since echoes was preeeeetty linear that’s a moot point for me. echoes decides no, actually, fuck that, and also fuck the battle saves introduced in awakening. ur gonna work through duma’s tower for an hour with no way to save and reload and if one of the ten million enemies in there knocks down celica ur losing all ur progress without even a chance to use the in-universe save scum device. bc fuck u.

incidentally, duma’s tower is where I quit during my first playthrough.

buuuuuuuut there’s more to games than mechanics. there’s story too! and... hoo boy. there’s two major sticking points for me that ultimately make it a disappointment. spoilers ahead for literally the entire game.

number one: the broken aesop of alm’s arc. ie, fernand was right.

so, fire emblem games have a lot of birth destiny and divine rights to rule and all that jazz. while it can be just a background fact of life (awakening and imo path of radiance fell into this) or a major problem that causes protagonist centred morality out the whazoo (Y HALLO THAR FATES’ CONQUEST ROUTE), echoes tries to go a different route, especially in the first act. alm butts up against those who don’t think he should be allowed to be a knight, let alone lead an army bc he’s of common birth. even those on his side (*cough*clive) struggle to hold noble and common life of equal worth. but here’s alm, the poster child of destiny caring not for trivialities such as parentage. he’s a good fighter and a good leader, and proves that even a commoner can become a hero!

except they can’t. alm isn’t a commoner. he’s a prince. he could never vanquish duma if he hadn’t noble blood in his veins, bc the falchion is locked in a vault only royals can enter, and is a sword only he can wield. were he truly a commoner, he would have failed. and all this would’ve been easily forgotten fridge logic if the characters hadn’t kept bringing the even a commoner bs all the way with them until he found out who his dad was! fernand, the primary voice for this shit, doesn’t die until after seeing alm revealed!

frankly, alm being a lost prince was purely a detriment to the story. oh no, he killed his dad? who fucking cares. blood is the only thing they share. I’ve seen this dude like twice before I cheesed his ass by warping my best units up to his section of wall and zapping him. half his dialogue is only available post-patricide. alm had more of a connection to Asshole Cousin Berkut that to him. also, his plan for preparing for the end of the world as is stood was one of the worst I’ve ever seen.

but there’s also a more fun point. number two: the straight agenda!

ugggggh. listen. on my first round through, I joked a lot abt all the unrequited love going around. and honestly there’s quite a lot of interactions that I found genuinely nice. faye and leon being open about their feelings and accepting they aren’t requited, and alm and valbar being honest and comfortable with that. or delthea mentioning her crush on clive to his sister and having mathilda immediately pointed out. or like, clive and mathilda’s entire relationship during the game. I like me a lovey dovey battle couple.

but then the epilogue slides hit. why the fuck would mathilda become a Good Housewife(TM) after marrying a man who encouraged her as they fought alongside each other. delthea gets the same treatment and settles down with an unnamed husband and becomes “normal” in her slide. then u have mae and boey who get married and have children and argue AND THAT IS IT. like guys, I like me some rivals to lovers as much as the next lesbian, but u can’t be said to have kids that give u more reasons to fight and have me believe this is any way healthy. please find a replacement for celica bc u do NOT work together on ur own. *sigh* at least clair and gray have a nice marriage where they’re both free to be themselves. in my game anyway, idk if she hooks up with tobin if they get higher support, but when he’s an archer and she’s a frontline fighter, they never had a chance.

and then there’s alm and celica.

I could’ve liked alm. I really could. while his base is still Default Fantasy Hero, I like his comments when u examine things, I like that he has the nerve to stand up to clive when he’s on his bullshit. but dude. u met ur fake cousin celica briefly when u were kids, got along well, then obsessed abt her for like a decade. get. over. it.

same to u celica. u were fucked in my eyes from the beginning bc I find devout characters actively dull, but come on. u made a friend who had a birthmark like urs. as far as ur concerned, that’s all. stop reading the script and try learning the politics of running that kingdom ur set to inherit.

beyond the “alm...” “celica...” wistful calls, and the forces of destiny/the writers, I could not tell u what draws these characters together. the one time they’re not staring into the middle distance at each other, they’re in a petty fight that makes celica look like a spoiled child (and keeps her there until after she sells her fucking soul to the shadiest guy in the fucking universe? celica. celica cmon.) like why do these people like each other. with as much as destiny pulled them together rather than human connection, they may as well have been siblings instead.

on my first run, I genuinely thought that was where they were headed. I got given “alm can lift royal sword” and “celica ‘lost’ brother in fire” and put together that OH! they’re brother and sister! like mila and duma! bc it’s history repeating itself! and then conrad showed up and I was confused. also, iirc alm genuinely believed celica was a cousin of his while they were interacting as kids and didn’t learn she was just in Fantasy Witness Protection until later, so for that to turn into poorly telegraphed romance is just... ew.

anyway. at least most of the characters were good. can’t even pick a favourite tbh. I like clair a lot, and tobin and gray. mae and delthea are both fun and adorable. the valbar/leon/kamui trio are great and chill dudes. I even like silque despite being the nun type, bc she just tries so hard and I appreciate that. oh and sonya’s very lovely with genny and DESERVED BETTER THAN BECOMING A LITERAL SOULLESS HUSK IN THE EPILOGUE AS SHE TRIES TO HELP OTHERS, FUCK U ECHOES.

also there are definite immersion hiccups. oh, the land’s barren and we’re facing famine, huh? *stares at trees full of oranges* *stares at wells full of water* *stares at baskets full of fish* *stares at inventory full of meat and vegetables* *stares at knife that can produce food if I kill an enemy with it...*

wait. I turned a lot of enemies into food with that knife. like my inventory for celica’s army filled up with it. was... was I eating people the whole time?! D:

anyway, fe15, 7.5/10 too much swamp

[endlessurfdaze]

I wanna vent but I don’t wanna bother anyone with a text or whatever so I’m doing it here.

Im not even gonna explain back story. Just purely gonna vent.

I had this lady come in today asking about going about a bond that was in her dead husbands name and the husbands father (who’s also dead)

I literally don’t know much about them other than that it takes 10/20/30 years to mature (aka collect it’s max interest) and then you may cash them. (You can actually cash them before the maturity but why would you do that? Less money) anyway, so I’m kinda panicking because BOTH of my managers were in a meeting with the bigger boss. I had my other colleague who has my same title with me so I kinda gravitated to her to try to ask her how to do this shit. she had no clue so I started to read the paper work. It said that a bank officer needed to stamp it with an official medallion specifically to bonds (I later find out our institution doesn’t have a medallion for bonds only for stocks.)

But I didn’t know exactly what that meant. So I’m standing in the back trying to buy some time, hoping that they finish their meeting. I quickly gave up and decided to start making copies of the documents and I was gonna tell the customer to come back at a later date because I didn’t know the answer.

But they ended up finishing the meeting right as the copier machine stopped. Great? I guess.

So I had to ask (I don’t care I’m stating names) Gladys for help. (She knows absolutely nothing btw)

She didn’t know what to do so she asked Veronica. (Branch manager, kinda bitchy, thinks she knows it all, can do her job correctly) Veronica gets on the phone with operations and asks the questions about the situation. This is how I find out we don’t have the authorization to stamp this document.

So I’m asking how do I word this. When I don’t feel confident in something, I get anxious and I can’t explain what’s being told to me. I don’t do this often at all. So yes I’m asking for extra help.

Gladys is trying to explain to me what to say. And I repeat it back to her. Then Veronica was like “oh you’re waiting for one of us to get up and explain it to the customer aren’t you?” And honestly I kinda was because AGAIN I AM NOT FAMILIAR WITH THE SUBJECT SO HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PROVIDE INFORMATION ABOUT IT?

Anyway...

So I said no.. I’m just trying to figure out how to say this. (without fucking up bc I have no idea what I’m talking about).

So I go back to the customer and I explain it kinda shakey. She obviously gets frustrated because we cannot do the service. Basically she needs to open another account at a facility that has this authorization so she can have the funds deposited into her account. She doesn’t feel comfortable. So I go back and tell this to Gladys. Gladys again says no we can’t do nothing blah blah. So I go back to tell the customer this. She finally gets over it and I think we’re all done but nope, she got more bonds she wanna cash lmfao.

She fills out her paper work whatever and gets her money and leaves.

Later on in the day someone comes in saying he lost his wallet with his full account number inside of it along with his online banking user and PW.

So reason why I’m complaining about this is what happens in this situation.

These two people(Gladys and Veronica) are constantly complaining that me and my colleague don’t have communication with anyone, including amongst ourselves. So this is why I go to them and tell them everything I’m doing. (I tell them even if I know what I’m doing because of this stupid ASS reason) if I don’t say anything I get the bullshit “oh why didn’t you tell me?”

So I go to Gladys with the situation letting her know what’s going on..

This is how it goes:

Me: hi Gladys

Her: hi what’s up?

Me: so I have this customer who lost his wallet with all his financial information in it

Her: OK you’re gonna tell me what you’re gonna do step by step

(Meaning that she’s saying I should know what to do already in this situation saying it kinda like I’m fucking dumb)

Binch.. I’m not asking how to do it.. I’m telling you what I’m doing just in case this dude comes in when I’m NOT here and you FUCKING KNOW THE SITUATION.

Same day different scenario. Some lady came in saying she lost her passbook. Fantastic now she gotta fill out a lost passbook affidavit lmfao. And she wanted to withdraw money from that account. Great.

So I was a little confused because I hadn’t done one in a while and there’s no fucking procedure on how to do it. There’s just a form to fill out. Which I did and I advised the customer to close the account and open a new one. But she can’t bc she receives social security in that account (yes hoes, this is so complicated lmfao)So I went to my favorite ass person Gladys lmfao and I was like yo this lady wanna withdraw money but she lost the book so like wtf do I do? I can’t remember exactly what she said but she got irritated and said “oh it’s in the procedure” and I’m like BRUH IM NOT ASKING THAT IM ASKING ABOUT THE LOST ASS BOOK AND THIS BINCH WANNA WITHDRAW MONEY FROM IT BUT IT LOST SO LIKE WTF. lmfao

So she was like “oh with managers discretion we can make the withdrawal”

Jesus Christ.

That’s all you had to say.

Idk man. Sometimes I feel like I’m not cut out for this. But then again I’m being yelled at by someone who’s worked for this company for 20+ years and STILL doesn’t know what to do.

Idk.

Whatever. I got it all out.

Vent over. Bye.